Unhealthy Relationship [Red flags] Signal
This is personal questions I like you to ask yourself before proceeding on this Article
- What do you feel relationships are in your own term
- If you were to define it, what would you say it is
I have noticed that many people have the wrong or a distorted belief system or should I say there is this revolving trend about relationships and love. The society has made it in a way that, we have another definition entirely to relationships and this has made a lot of people take the journey that has led to their unhappiness. The society made sure to give their own rules and regulations to what relationships between consenting adults. They made it look like there must be some things that you entirely need to compromise. I’m not against compromises but am saying do the right compromises if you must.
The journey to marriage isn’t one that you throw caution into air neither is it one that you are so at alert that you have grown considerable phobias for a healthy relationship. I decided to ask What you think relationships are earlier because I needed to be sure we are on the same page. It has, therefore, become pertinent for me to state that you only awaken love when you are ready for it Should in case you are no ready for its responsibilities. For instance, society tells you that, all you need is money to keep a relationship alive.
The society makes you unfit for a relationship because, as a lady, you have to wash his clothes (in some part of the African countries) or a slave to your partner. you will hear things like. Visit his house, cook for him, Therefore, our ladies have turned themselves to slaves, While, guys are trying to do different things just to get money to keep the relationship alive.
Signs of Red Flags in a Relationship
The first and most important red flag in a relationship sign that you must be conscious of is Who you are dealing with. You need to figure out whether he or she is into business with your heart or he or she is real. knowing whom you are dating does not cover What he/she does for a living or just her name, How old is he or she
It is so pitifully that some people in relationships can’t say or write a full sentence about whom they are dating. If you don’t know him/her, trust me It’s high time you run for your precious life. I was speaking with one of my proteges recently and he was to travel abroad. He decided to show his babe to me. They came over to my place of work and after I took them out. A question was thrown at the guy
How Long have you known your Partner
All I could get from the guy as I have been dating her for two years, she is 19 years and she is a Christian. I was shocked because more was expected from him. He couldn’t go ahead I fixed my eyes on him and told him Squarely If you don’t know her then am afraid
He replied I can’t exactly say much more, I am sure you know what I am talking about.
If you can’t exactly say a lot about whom you have been in the relationship within two years, what the heck are you waiting for
My dear damsel lady, That guy is into business with you. He is running something that you might have an idea of but you can’t say. It’s not a deal yet, just run for your dear life.
Another Red flag Sign in a Relationship
Is your intuition saying “I can’t really say where it’s leading” Why would be you in a relationship that you are not sure how it will end,
Some of us get into a relationship for the namesake. You are in a relaxing and yet you have no idea of where it’s leading. Why would you start a directionless relationship? If he/she refuses to discuss the future, the best of it is to distance yourself.
If after six months she is still behaving like she doesn’t really care. My dear friend Park outside and let her be herself.
You ask a sister out for 2 years, she eventually agrees and two years down, You are still not sure what she wants from you, It’s like she treats you like shots like you are an unimportant element.
My dear brother kindly borrow a sense but, if no one is ready to borrow your sense, kindly browse how to get a genuine sense from here. The reason some people aren’t on the right journey is that they have busied their lives with some unimportant people. if you don’t feel loved sir or madam, and he or she refuses to understand you, humble your remaining self-esteem use it as you kick out the Relationship.
I don’t know where the relationship will lead
- Is a big red flag for a fantastic goodbye. If you don’t know where your relationship is leading, Kiss it goodbye
You are dating someone who can’t make space to see you, doesn’t remember simple things like your birthday
Doesn’t know little details about you such as your last name and you are still going to your clergy to pray him out or her my dear sister or brother, You need to be prayed out. Not the other way round. I’m not saying you should begin to stuff their lives, not saying you should be desperate rather I am saying that you should be sure of what you are getting into. That’s love
He or she shouldn’t know all the details but at least small important things about you. Note that a relationship is not a do or die affair people who do a do or die relationships are those facing abuses every day. A relationship is meant to be a love affair you are supposed to work hard to make it work but if it isn’t please use the exit and eave!. You gotta save your life, and your precious time.
What a Relationship
Two people coming together to work out there differences, a relationship is what I refer to as a relate ship, not a relay Ship. A relating ship means we are relating, talking, Knowing each other, helping each other and bringing the best out of others. You cant relate with a dumb, you cannot as well relate with someone whose attitudes are off
but you can relate with someone who is ready to compromise. The fact remains that no one is created alike even identical twins have their differences so, in a relating ship, You bridge the gap of differences
Another Red Flag in a Relationship.
If he or she refuses to bridge the gap of differences
Selfish people are always in some kinds of relationship. If you are in a relationship with a selfish person you will never win an argument because they have a way of making sure you get blamed at the end of the conversation you must be the one to apologise even when it’s obvious that it wasn’t your fault
If your partner is too pompous to say am wrong and I am sorry, do you know where they take the next bus? else kindly order for Uber. it could be hard to make decisions like this It truly hurts but it is better to get hurt now. So that you will get a better company for the journey ahead.
You like eating a particular food but you met someone who doesn’t, in a relationship, both of you must compromise to eat and fall in love with your partner disliked stuff. Both partners learn to eat their dislikes in that way, you both relate.
You probably must have read lots of books where they must have given you some big names for red flags, I have a feeling that most at the time you just never understood them.
We are taking this Journey together there is more to relationships than meets the eyes
Don’t be in a hurry that you get into a bad one
Don’t get too busy with unimpressed people
Who is in your life on this Journey with you, are they doing or taking the right turn with you If not drop them. At the next bus stop, they mustn’t get to your destination with you.
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This type of relationship Is a race competition. It is a must you compete for everything
- who love the other most.
- You compete for attention
- You compete for calls. Since he/she refused to call then I won’t call after all I called yesterday
Yet Another Flag
If you feel you are competing I once dated someone that I had to compete for his attention she always had that male here or there I had to fight for her to notice me when she is with friends.
- I had to ask to be loved
- I had to struggle so much that I broke down
if you find yourself in a relationship where it looks like you are doing it alone, kindly use the available bus and get peace.
It just comes to you, you don’t ask the question of who because it refers to the two in the ship. In a relay-ship If the other messes up He/she take the responsibilities.
“I don’t want to be blamed for any fault, she went on I’m finished do you know I had to tap into his messages
He is making a monster out of me
I almost slapped him for cheating the last time.
After her rabble, I asked as she speaks to me. Are you still in the relationship with him after all he has done with to you?
She said ‘Yes’
Where will I start from? She replied
So I told her to call me Only after doing the needful
She called me a week later and she said I broke up with him and I told her I will tell you where to start from
I know where you should start with
- Buy some self-esteem
- Return the inferiority mindset
- Borrow sense from the Holy Spirit
- And please get your life from where you dumped it
If your partner cheats or lie, It’s not because it’s you It’s his lesson or her person
If she makes you behave like a spy, Call her and tell her that you are ready to leave.
- Some partners play in our intelligence
- Don’t allow them, Easily subtract them from your life
It may sound irresistible at first, but there’s nothing more infuriating than being put on a pedestal by a partner. This person doesn’t really see you as you—you’re a projection of some perfect idea they have in their head, and anytime you shatter those expectations by being a normal, flawed, breathing human being, they’re impossible to console. Oh yeah, and someone being that obsessed with you is killing a relationship can be worked out but by two persons
If it’s you alone?
- Please redirect
- Keep walking with wisdom
- Be in charge
Adaobi Udokwu of tender heart and care global foundation had the below conversation with one of her people
- Experience isn’t the best teacher as people may say though it contributes a lot the master of it all is God for those who believe in Him.
- A relationship is not what people call It’s peculiar
- Don’t relate your experiences and expectations
- Don’t feel. Jealous of that person’s relationship
- Don’t wish for anyone’s relationship
Everything good will come with time but have it at the back of your mind that it comes indeed only when you do the right thing. Don’t get carried away by books because they are called motivation. Even after reading loads of books, always carry your five senses along with you into your relationship.
- Use inspirations The word of God if you believe
- Seek God when you are tired
- Are confused tell it to God
- When you seek for direction, walk up to God.